18 April 2007

The thing about superstitions, or, Yarn Fumes cure mood swings

the thing about superstitions is this: they're supposed to make you feel safer, more in control. Don't break mirrors. Avoid black cats. Don't walk under ladders. Stay away from the number thirteen. Don't knit anything for your baby before three months, and you won't miscarry.

But what if the superstition doesn't help? What if it makes you feel worse? What if it makes you focus on the bad thing, that COULD happen, instead of the miraculous thing, that is happening?

I found myself in a terrible mood yesterday. One of those terrible days when nothing is right, nothing is good, and I was ready to just explode with frustration. Making it worse was the fact that the mood was based on nothing. Chemicals in the brain only.

Normally, to fix that mood, I go and breathe deep of the yarn fumes, but I knew that if went to the yarn store, I'd get sucked into the baby knits, and then I would buy baby yarn, and then I would knit baby things, and I was being superstitious about this, remember?

A couple of friends gave me a good kick in the ass and reminded me that a.) if the absolute worst happens, and I miscarry (which is unlikely, really, if you look at my familial history and Robb's, and you don't need to tell me if the fact that my mother never had a miscarriage doesn't relate to my chances, thanks), will I really be sadder because I knit a baby sweater or some socks? No. I'll be truly miserable, but knowing me, I'd feel slightly better, because there would be proof that, once upon a time, there was a baby growing inside me. It would help give me the strength to try again. And when I was ready, I would have a little blessing to give to another child of mine, if that felt right, or another child in the world, if that were appropriate.

So I went to the yarn store, and I didn't even have an accident. If I'd had an accident, I would have spent significantly more.

I got Blue Sky Alpaca & Silk in the light green for this little set. This is the one that struck me as the "take photos and then whisk it away to hide somewhere as an heirloom" set, since it's not so machine washable, but I could surprise myself. It's an adorable wrap sweater, and has a matching hat and booties.

The blue Cashsoft DK is for this adorable little set.

The goldenrod Jaeger Matchmaker is for another little wrap sweater out of the Natural Knitters book, which also has an adorable "bump" sweater, the kind with ties on the side that you can let out as your bump gets bigger.

Not pictured is a bag of Dale ULL for that little sweater all the way in the bottom corner, with the ladybugs. How completely adorable?? The colors are going to be slightly different because their offerings have changed since the book was put out, but I'm still in love.

And I feel better again. Go figure.


AlisonH said...

I own that first sweater!!! When I had my youngest, my husband's aunt gave us a wool sweater, bright yellow, in just that pattern! I asked her if she'd made it, and she said no, a friend had made it for her to give me for my baby. I went wow, why? When she doesn't even know me? Could you at least tell me who she is so I can tell her thank you directly?

The aunt shrugged it off, going, well, she owed me a favor, it's no big deal.

You can tell that aunt was not a knitter. I don't know if she ever did pass along how fervently grateful I was, but *I* knew how much work it was and how much it meant, and I tried. That sweater IS an heirloom, that child is now 19, and I am saving it for his firstborn someday.

I hereby resist the temption to go right now and hold it up at him while gleefully reminding him of that.

Sheila said...

Knit some beautiful baby sweaters, hats and booties. Congrats. I have been away for 2 weeks and look at you!